Tuesday, June 28, 2011


This past weekend, I trekked down to Fontanaland with 27 fellow Jr.'s and Sr.'s for our youth groups annual Leadership Retreat. Last year, God really impacted and changed my life at the Leadership Retreat, and I was eagerly awaiting to see how God would work in my life this year too. I figured I would be challenged about how I need to be a better leader in our youth group etc... but He taught me something totally different and wonderful that I definitely needed to learn, something I needed to get right with God before I could be a leader. (And on a side note, God DID teach me a whole lot about leadership too, and showed me a lot of areas of apathy in my life that I need to change. but for now, I'm going to stick to the main thing God taught me during the weekend).

During the first session of the retreat, Eric Knott mentioned the Power of the Holy Spirit. He gave an illustration about a farmer who has a huge field to plow. Now, the farmer has a big tractor sitting out by the field, but he just walks past it with his hoe and starts plowing away by hand. Seems stupid right? He has this amazing tool right in front of him that would make his work so much easier if he just would use it.

I identified with that farmer. Actually, I AM that farmer. The tractor symbolizes the power of the Holy Spirit- a special Helper that God has given me that i ignore most of the time. I have the very power of GOD living in me that I ignore.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

Acts 1:8

Because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.
1 Thess 1:5

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

1 Timothy 1:7

How many times have I questioned God, asking Him why I feel so dead spiritually, why I feel like I have no joy, no love, no kindness, no patience? I say, "God, I am doing everything right! And I still feel so far away from You!" In reality, I was doing what was right for the right reason. But I began to believe some lies. I began to have doubts. I doubted that I could live a life that pleases God. I started to think that I could never glorify God or be pleasing in His sight.

I also started to believe that the current state of life I was at, which could be characterized by words like 'comfortable,' 'apathetic,' or 'mediocre,' was acceptable, the new 'norm' for this stage of life. I basically gave up on the idea of living in a passionate pursuit of God, a life of reckless abandon.

Those thoughts are lies. And now, praise be to God, I know how to combat them. I have the very power of God living inside of me, and I just need to tap into it. I just need to get into the tractor and use it. I just need to stand up and start running up the hill as fast as I can towards Christ. Even if all my friends are dragging their feet up the hill, I have to run.

Obviously I can't run up that hill as fast as I can for the rest of my life on my own strength. Believe me, my strength will run out pretty fast. In fact, it already ran out. But the glorious truth is that I have GOD'S strength and power living in me at this very moment. All the power I could ever dream of and MORE is accessible to me 24/7.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly hosts, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Friday, June 3, 2011

James 4:13-15

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." ~ James 4:13-15, ESV

While reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, which if you haven't read I strongly encourage you to do so immediately, I came across these verses. Thy fit in so perfectly with what God is teaching me right now, I couldn't help but share them. My life is a vapor and I don't get to decide and make plans for myself. God is completely sovereign over every single area and detail of my life, and He chooses what I do everyday. His plan is perfect. If the Lord wills, I will live. What a thought to think that even my very next breath is sustained by my almighty God.


So it's time again for another post : )

I am so happy and thankful that now I can write about how my life is full of joy, how God is working in my life, and my awesome God whom I absolutely love to serve is. A few months ago, this wasn't the case. God has really brought me through a long and hard journey this past year, and I have learned so much. But now, after coming out the other side and looking back, all I can do is praise God for His mighty works.

I am sitting here in my room trying to decide what to write about. My time in Bible study has been so profitable this past week, that there is way too much to write about just in one post. My week has also been full of special "girl time" with my friends, where we are able to get together over coffee and talk about what God is doing in our lives.

But if I were to summarize all the things God is teaching me through his Word directly, and through my friends, I would say it all comes down to one word: surrender.

Specifically in my life, I have to surrender my plans, like I have written about in my last few posts. I finally realized that my specific plans for ministry don't have to come true. That's God's decision alone. And I need to be so happy and thankful for the fact that I am even able to do ministry, that I am SAVED by GRACE, that I am content to serve wherever, however God needs me too. And I can say now, with a heart thankful to God alone for doing this, that I am letting go.

Isn't it weird how freeing it feels to completely surrender everything in your life? I feel like I have absolutely nothing but Christ. Which happens to be the BEST feeling in the world.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


You know what I just realized?

True joy comes when you walk in the Will of God and have a right relationship with Him.

No, I'm not perfect, and yes, I will always struggle with sin on this earth. But God sees me as righteous because of Christ's atoning sacrifice, and because of that, I can be right with Him.

So when I finally surrendered it all back to God, when I finally accepted His plan as best, when I was finally at peace with my circumstances, I found myself joyful. While washing the dishes. Without being asked. WHAT?

With contented joy, comes selfless love. Why have I not lived like this my entire life?