Sunday, October 17, 2010

I am a wretched sinner. God is a forgiving God. I am blessed.

Well, so much for posting every week! hahahaha...

I've been thinking a lot about sin recently. How much I struggle with it, how much I don't think I struggle with it, wishing it would just go away, wishing that I would be stronger in resisting temptation, wishing I would realize the sin that I struggle with every day that is right before me and change. But unfortunately, I haven't been doing a very good job of taking care of the sin in my life. And it's destroying me. It's destroying my joy, my peace, my relationship with God, my relationships with others... everything. Sin is so destructive and I am so ready to be done with it.

But that's as far as I get. I get so fed up with sin, but don't do anything about it. I get discouraged about all the awful stuff in my life, then turn around and do it again. WHY? Why do I take action against my sin!? Why am I content to just live an 'ok' life? Why am I fine with looking good on the outside and struggling with a lot of stuff on the inside? Why am I content to live with sin in my life?

I shouldn't be. Sin is an abomination to the Lord. He HATES sin with a passion. So I say I love God, but how then can my life constantly have the very thing that He hates most? It doesn't make sense. So that's why it's no longer gonna happen.

I am done with this. I no longer am going to tolerate sin in my life. I want to have the same passionate hatred of sin that God does. I am so ready to do a 180 and start living for God again. It's about time. No, it most definitely wont be perfect, and I WILL fail. That's just a fact of sin that I have to deal with. But at least I'm trying. At least I'm actively fighting the battle. At least I'm aware that there's a problem, and am doing my best to fix it.

Now, this is an impossible feat before me. I CANNOT do this on my own. There is NO possible way for me to do this. But I do have the ONLY way. And He literally LIVES IN ME. He is there SPECIFICALLY to HELP ME in my battle against sin. AND HE WILL. I know because He has before. He is SO GOOD. And He is MINE.

Thank you God for being such a forgiving God. Thanks for being so willing to forgive and forget all the things that I have done that are an abomination to you. You are so good to me. I do not deserve you in any way, yet you chose me, before the beginning of the world to be Yours. I can't wait to spend eternity with You. Love you so much :)