True joy comes when you walk in the Will of God and have a right relationship with Him.
No, I'm not perfect, and yes, I will always struggle with sin on this earth. But God sees me as righteous because of Christ's atoning sacrifice, and because of that, I can be right with Him.
So when I finally surrendered it all back to God, when I finally accepted His plan as best, when I was finally at peace with my circumstances, I found myself joyful. While washing the dishes. Without being asked. WHAT?
With contented joy, comes selfless love. Why have I not lived like this my entire life?
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