I'll Never Forsake You, My Love Never Ends

Today has been a difficult day, an emotional roller coaster. I just want to forget all my problems, run away, hide, and pretend like it's not real. But I have to face the reality that all my circumstance ARE REAL. And there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about them.

Overwhelmed. That word perfectly describes how I feel right now. I feel like I am struggling with so many issues: sinful habits, circumstances with friends, and dealing with myself and all of my pride. God is gracious to reveal to me the areas of my life that are not pleasing to Him, but I often find myself looking up to God and saying "God! I cant handle all of this! It's TOO much for me right now. Just give it to me a little at a time. I'm not going to get anywhere if I'm stuck dealing with a million different things!"

But here is my real dilemma. I know those thoughts are wrong. And I know truth to combat those lies. I'm just choosing not to believe it, because it feels good to throw a pity party for myself. But, God is so faithful to show me, yet again, an area that needs work.

You can't ignore the truth.

"I will not leave you or forsake you" Joshua 1:5

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

"But He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" 2 Corinthians 12:9

The fact is, I WILL fail without Christ. God is using this in my life to teach me DEPENDENCE on Him. I am at a place where I just want to cry. I feel helpless. I can't fix my problems. But God is teaching me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I have gotten so accustomed to my care-free life with no problems, and now I'm in a completely different ball game. I have to TRUST that God has plan, that plan is perfect, and will work out for GOOD. I like to be in control. That's not where I'm called to be. I am nothing, God is EVERYTHING. Who am I to think that I have control over my life? I serve a SOVEREIGN God. He already has eternity planned out. Why would I even WANT to try to fix my life? It makes so much more sense to just step back, and let God take care of me. Why can't I live like that?

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26