Savior Please

Well, this song is pretty self explanatory as to how I have been feeling as of late. At the beginning of last week I prayed and asked God to stir me up spiritually, awaken my tired eyes again, and give me a renewed passion for himself and for holiness. 


After a long and hard semester, I had grown accustomed to running endlessly, working through the pain, and just trying to get through time as quickly as I could. Once break started though, God began to show me that eventually, my strength will fail. Eventually all that I have trusted in with fall through. All that I have depended on will be gone. Only HE is faithful to the end, only his strength will never fail. 


I think that if I just work hard enough, I can make it through anything. "You're strong enough," I tell myself everyday. But what a lie have been preaching myself. It is only by God's faithful hand that I am able to accomplish anything- even down to the littlest detail, like breathing. 


"For by him all things were created in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." (Colossians 1:16)


I've tried to be so tough, but by God's grace I am realizing that none of my efforts are worthwhile. I don't need to be tough- God's ever present strength is guiding me every step of the way. 


Anyways, if you are reading this I would appreciate prayer and accountability. Pray that I would trust and depend on God's strength and ask me how I'm doing when you see me, if you don't mind. Watch the video and be inspired by God's pure and simple wonderfulness like I am :) 


Savior Please

Life Is Good

Deep breath. In.... out. Phew. I made it. 


The past two weeks of my life could be described as hectic, crazy, busy, stressful, scary, emotional, and all around insane. I feel like David facing Goliath- me, such a small insignificant person out to conquer a huge problem that seems impossible. I could bore you with all the details that made these past weeks so crazy, but instead I'll just tell you a few of the many things that have happened:


-3 tests and a speech all in one week
-increased hours at work (twice as much as I normally work)
-homework and studying till 2 or 3 am every night
-three dear friends of mine going to the ER all in one week


I feel like I've been running a marathon. Life and it's business just never seems to end. Being gone from home for 12 straight hours a day is beginning to take it's toll on me. I feel tired, I have no energy, I'm emotionally drained. 


Now some may see this and think "Wow, she's at a really low point in life right now." And honestly, if it weren't for God, that statement would be absolutely 100% true. BUT, the wonderful thing is, it's not. In fact, it's the exact opposite. 


Looking at my circumstances, the world tells me  I "should" be feeling sorry for myself. I "deserve" some me-time. I "should" have a good cry and break down. 


A few weeks ago, I realized just how much I let my circumstances rule my emotions. If I didn't get enough sleep, I was grumpy. If I had a test, I was stressed. If I had a hard day at work, I was depressed. 


The Truth of the matter, though, is that God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. My stance before Him doesn't change either- he has already forgiven me, and loves me no matter what. That fact alone should rule my emotions! My joy is found in the hope of Christ. The hope that this life is temporal and that I have an eternity in paradise to look forward to. My joy is found from remembering all that God has done for me. Remembering that Jesus DIED for me so that I could live. So am I going to live a life of anger, grumpiness and stress? Absolutely NOT!

Because of God and God alone, I have a ridiculous amount of joy and peace and hope that I just can't explain. The "peace that passes all understanding" is with me. "In [His] presence there is fullness of joy"(Psalm 16:11). "the God of hope [has filled me] with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit [I] may abound in hope" (Romans 15:13). "In all [my] affliction, I am overflowing with joy" (2 Corinthians 7:4).  "Though [I] have not seen him, [I] love him. Though [I] do not now see him, [I] believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory" (1 Peter 1:8)

I have so many blessings that I am just completely overwhelmed with thankfulness for. I have the most incredible friends in the entire world. I have a church that preaches the Word of God every Sunday and gives me so many opportunities to minister. And best of all, I have salvation. I have a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Can it possibly get any better than that? I submit that it cannot.


So all that to say, the "worst" two weeks of my life thus far are actually the best two weeks I have ever had. I've never been closer to God; He is growing me closer to Him, and even though it's painful, it's so beautiful at the same time. God is worthy of my all, and I give my all to Him. 

Digger Deeper into Holiness

So since my last post, I have continued reading in the book of Leviticus about God and his holiness, and how I am supposed to be holy. Throughout my time in the Word, I kept finding myself searching for practical ways to be holy or to make myself holy. I was a little confused, because I was reading from the book of Leviticus, and the Israelites followed the Law that God gave them. I on the other hand, am not under the law, but under grace (Romans 6:14). So I was a bit confused as to which commands I was supposed to follow to be holy like God.

But then the thought struck me. Am I holy by my own merit? Surely not! Like I mentioned before, I am weighed down with just how unholy I am, how often I fail, and my daily, hourly struggles with sin. So the idea of ME having to be holy by myself is completely out of the picture. There is NO way that will ever happen.

So how can we be holy as Christians? There is no magic formula, no list of do's and don't's that we can follow to become holy as God is holy. We stand holy and righteous before God because, and ONLY because of Christ. My righteous deeds are like a filthy garment to God! (Isaiah 64:6) He doesn't want them or need them. His righteousness and holiness was imputed to us when we were born again through His saving work on the cross. Jesus is my propitiation, my sacrifice. Just like the Israelites had to offer sacrifices to pay for their sins, Jesus became MY sacrifice, and took care of ALL sins, past, present, future, big, and small.(1 John 4:10) God looks at me, and just sees Jesus' blood covering me. It is so comforting to know that I have absolutely NOTHING to do with my stance before God. It is all God's work, and I am so blessed to be called his daughter! What an amazing God I serve!

Getting to Know my Heavenly Father

I was encouraged and challenged last night in youth service at my church in a big way. Recently, I've been struggling with the question, "What is is the balance between being content wherever God has me spiritually, and always seeking to grow, grow, grow to be more like Him." I feel like I need to be both content, but yet not content at the same time. But an encouraging thought I heard last night was, "just get to know your God." And I intend to do so.

So I have set off on yet another journey and I am so excited to see where God leads me on this one. I don't know what to expect, except that I know God will change me, and He will be glorified. So as I uncover a new aspect about God, I will try and post something, even if it's short and sweet, about what I'm learning.

SO. Today. Leviticus 19:1-2, 

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, "Speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them, You shall be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy... Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.  Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal: I am the LORD your God. When you offer a sacrifice of peace offerings to the LORD, you shall offer it so that you may be accepted."

I learned today that God is HOLY. I also learned that I am to be holy because He is Holy. Everything I do should be done with holiness, because God is holy and He demands holiness from His children. God can't be around unholiness. He is the LORD MY GOD- and I am an unholy creature. 

I never really thought about pursuing holiness in everyday things, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Before, 'holiness' made me think of nuns and monks vowing silence and doing charitable acts of kindness to the orphans. But holiness is so much more than that! Seeking to be holy is seeking to be like God. God is the very definition of Holy! Actually, God is Holy, Holy, Holy! He needs three "holy's" that symbolized perfectly holy holiness to describe Him!

God is so holy, and I am so unholy. I do so many selfish things, think so many wrong thoughts, and say so many irreverent things. So today, my mind is weighed down with my unholiness, but it is also renewed with the glorious Truth that God is perfectly Holy, and He desires to make me like Him.

"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." Romans 8:29

"and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator." Colossians 3:10

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

 "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" Isaiah 6:3